Perfectionism vs. High Standards: Tackling Home Organization Paralysis
It’s a thing. We want life to be good and we want to live up to our potential. And because of this we sometimes get stuck in the trap of perfectionism because it can be mistaken for a commitment to excellence or high standards. At first glance, this confusion makes some sense. Both seem to involve a desire to do well and create something meaningful. However, the two mindsets differ profoundly in their impact on how we approach work, and this holds true for the work of organizing our homes.
But if we wake up a little we can catch ourselves making this mistake. The first red flag is a feeling of stuckness leading to procrastination. Another is just a feeling of dissatisfaction, of never being able to measure up. And though these feelings might appear to be produced outside of ourselves, the crank call is coming from inside the house. This means it’s in our power to address our stuckness with some mindfulness, but to tackle it we have to get real about the ego. Yeah. That little bugger.
The Ego's Role in Perfectionism
Ah, the ego. We all have one.
While it's a common cliché to think of the ego as an inflated sense of self-importance, it’s actually much more dangerous, annoying, and sneaky than that. Its influence is nuanced, pervasive, and hard to catch. Far from bolstering us to our best selves, it operates out of fear. It wants to solve the problem of our “value”. (Which is why sometimes it does that inflation thing to get us to a place where we feel important and safe.) It’s the part of our psyche that clings to outcomes and constantly evaluates our worth, categorizing experiences and achievements as "good" or "bad." It constructs a reality where we, and everyone around us, are perpetually ranked on an imaginary status ladder.
Yay! Sounds like junior high!
Striving for something that doesn’t exist and cannot be achieved is downright insane and a waste of time. So, when a perfectionist views their living space as a stark reflection of their worth and competence to be measured, this perspective can understandably lead to paralysis, unrealistic expectations, and a dispirited mindset.
So we should ask ourselves: Is this the kind of reality we want to inhabit?
Not only that, but perfectionism will get you bogged down in minutiae at the expense of taking meaningful action. Because perfectionism demands ideal conditions, many projects are perpetually delayed. Task initiation becomes incredibly difficult with the belief that there’s a “right” way to do things. Fear of doing it “wrong” keeps clutter in place and goals out of reach while we ruminate about the perfect time, tools, or inspiration. When these conditions don’t line up, which they never will, the waiting for perfection can become an excuse to avoid the work altogether.
Because, the fact of the matter is, the state of one’s home is an ongoing process, not a final destination. Living requires flexibility and resilience and so does your household management. We need to adapt organizational systems to fit changing life circumstances rather than rigidly adhering to an idea. The occasional mess or disorganization is a normal part of life, not a personal failure.
So when it comes to organizing our homes, we should constantly remind ourselves that these spaces are for us, not just about us. Your home is an ongoing creation, an expression, and a support system.
Why High Standards Are the Real Goal
Let’s instead adopt high standards and personal excellence. Unlike perfectionism, high standards encourage forward motion.
Our first step here is to redefine success. We shift our focus from flawless outcomes to meaningful progress. If we can approach every organizing project as a learner and acknowledge that trial and error is part of the process, we’ll be more willing to test different methods and adapt as needed.
A really great way to trigger task initiation is to start small. Choose a single, manageable task. Instead of tackling your entire garage, start with one shelf or one category, like gardening tools. This reduces the pressure and builds momentum. Identify what’s most important to you. Do you need a clutter-free kitchen to cook more efficiently? A streamlined entryway to reduce stress in the mornings? Let your goals guide your efforts rather than striving for an abstract ideal of the perfect solution.
High standards are awesome. They are defined by you; you at your very best at this particular moment in your life. They are specific and personal. Like maintaining a garden, your home requires regular care and attention, but it doesn’t have to be perfect to bring joy and order to your life. It’s an organic, dynamic, and ever-changing palette on which to paint your current goals, aspirations, and expressions.
I like to tell my clients to point themselves toward their strengths.
What tasks come naturally to you? What aspects bring you joy? Focus your energy there, and don’t hesitate to seek help with the rest. Whether it’s delegating, asking for advice, or hiring a professional, recognizing where you need support is a strength in itself. You don’t have to do it all alone to create a space that reflects your best self. By using our strengths across the board we find our personal excellence. And that excellence should be the standard that you are measuring yourself against.
Practical Tips for Moving Past Perfectionism in Home Organization
Use What You Have: You don’t need matching bins or expensive organizers to make progress. Use shoeboxes, jars, or other items already in your home to get started.
Set Time Limits: Commit to organizing for 15 or 30 minutes at a time. Short bursts of focused effort can yield surprising results without feeling overwhelming.
Focus on Essentials: Identify the spaces or items that impact your daily life the most—like your kitchen counters or your wardrobe—and prioritize them.
Seek Support: Whether it’s a friend, family member, or professional organizer, having someone to guide or encourage you can make a huge difference.
The Ripple Effects of Letting Go
When you let go of perfectionism and embrace high standards, the benefits extend beyond your home. You’ll likely find yourself feeling more confident, less stressed, and more capable of tackling other areas of your life.
As you create a space that reflects your values and supports your goals, you’ll discover a newfound clarity and sense of peace. The energy once spent chasing perfection can be redirected toward what truly matters: living a life of purpose and joy.
In Conclusion
Perfectionism may hope for a perfect life where it controls everything, but it never delivers because that’s just not reality. So why chase delusion? By recognizing the difference between perfectionism and high standards, we can learn about our personal excellence and make that the goal.
High standards don’t demand flawless results; they encourage thoughtful, intentional work that evolves over time. So take a deep breath, roll up your sleeves, and begin. Remember, it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful—or to work.