You Are Not Your Stuff

An In-Home Organizer's Thoughts on YOU.

We all do it. We measure. We measure ourselves and others, trying to make sense of life and what it means to be human. We measure accomplishments, appearances, possessions, and wealth. And inevitably, because this is the point of measuring, we reach some kind of conclusion—a judgment. You don’t need me to tell you this because you already know it; you already do it, and so do I. In some twisted version of reality, these judgments become our truth. We become our money and accomplishments. And so, we are judged and sorted into categories: good or bad, worthless or fabulous, or even worse—mediocre.

Ugh. Tell me it isn’t so. But this is the soup we’ve been simmering in our entire lives. It’s the reality served up to us daily.

As a professional organizer, I help people release their attachments to their belongings and let go of the possessions and mindsets that clutter their lives. I spend a lot of time thinking about how we create happiness—what conditions might lead to the best possible outcomes in our daily lives, especially the aspects of having a home and building a sanctuary. I’m passionate about exploring the philosophical concepts behind self-worth and happiness and how we can bring more of it into our lives to combat the over-consumption that’s harming our planet and overwhelming our minds. 

With my clients, I see firsthand how people overcomplicate their lives with their possessions, often using them as distractions from deeper, more difficult life challenges. The clutter becomes a way to avoid facing things like relationships, career dissatisfaction, or even a fear of change. But when I walk into their homes, I don’t see the mess or the things they’re hiding behind. I see people—funny, talented, and strong individuals who often don’t realize just how much they have to offer. If only they could see themselves the way I do, they’d understand that their value goes far beyond their stuff and maybe, just maybe, it would be easier to let go.

But what, exactly, is intrinsic value as compared to the extrinsic value we’ve been taught to, quite literally, buy into?

The Philosophy of Intrinsic Value

Apparently, philosophers like Immanuel Kant and Aristotle believed humans have intrinsic value because of their capacity for rationality and moral reasoning.  As in I think, therefore I am.  But in my opinion, our value goes way beyond the rational.

Here’s the thing: You’re a miracle. The fact that you exist is beyond reasoning. You have the capacity for love, empathy, creativity, and constant growth—whether you realize it or not. Unlike money, status, or achievements, these qualities can’t be taken away from you. 

Our ability to grow is one of the greatest things about us.  It’s what our lives show us– that we must grow in order to survive, let alone flourish.  Growing is a privilege.  Change is a privilege.  It means we’re alive.  Even though growing and changing can at times feel totally freaky, this is arguably our best quality because every person holds incredible potential.  This potential is always present, regardless of your circumstances.  We have free will and choice in who we will be on the inside of ourselves, regardless of what others think or what the world is doing.  Maybe sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, but this is true because intrinsic value exists independently of comparison.  With intrinsic value, there is simply nothing to compare yourself to.  You are you and your potential and this basic truth has nothing to do with anyone else. 

Add to this fact that we all have extraordinary ability to adapt and bounce back from the inevitable challenges that life brings.  Human resilience takes us beyond the concept of success or failure.  Our ability to show up to our lives, for better or worse, and continue to grow even when it doesn’t feel good, is an essential part of the human experience.  Our resilience is all the proof we need.  We’re amazing. 

The ultimate goal then, of course, is to feel at home in our own skin and love the things we already have. This means accepting reality as it is, without constantly measuring ourselves against others—or even against the idealized versions of ourselves. True peace comes when we stop chasing external markers of worth and embrace who we are, flaws and all. Along this path we can create a life that feels authentic, grounded, and truly fulfilling.

Ah, but we do get caught up, don’t we? 

The Modern World

It's no secret that we live in a culture obsessed with external validation, constantly requiring us to prove our worth through what we have or achieve. Tim Kasser, a psychology professor at Knox College, explored this extensively in his book The High Price of Materialism. His research shows that materialistic values are linked to lower levels of happiness and higher levels of anxiety and depression. There’s a clear connection between neglecting our deeper needs—such as connection, competence, and freedom—and substituting them with goods and experiences. While it’s natural to want, and even need, material things, the issue lies in the meaning we attach to them and the image they create.  To be a materialist in the broader, philosophical sense, is to believe only physical matter exists and that all phenomena, including consciousness, can be explained through physical processes.  In this scenario, we rely 100% on the things we can see and touch, fully ignoring all of that juicy information within us: our innate abilities and intuition. 

Of course, we are pulled into materialism by family, friends, media—essentially, everything around us. It’s become so ingrained that it feels like it’s always running in the background.  For this reason, we’re going to need to wake up a little bit, to become aware of thought and behavior patterns that might be driven by forces we’re not even aware of.

New Awareness

In this light, it’s important to take ourselves through a personal review process every now and then—one that examines our self-value from a fresh perspective. This means checking in with our growth, acknowledging our ability to change, and reconnecting with our potential for happiness. By doing this, we can better understand where we are and where we’re headed, reminding ourselves that our intrinsic value lies not in what we’ve achieved, or the items we’ve collected over the years, but in our capacity for continued evolution and fulfillment.  

So, we look around our homes.  We get real with what we’re feeling.  And we tune in to what our actual needs are. Somewhere in the question of “what do I need?” is that tiny voice whispering to you about your creative potential and your need for connection.  Of course, journaling, mindfulness, and a good walk in the trees– these can all help you tune in to the bigger questions: What does true fulfillment mean to you?  What do you value about being alive?   

Also, the author wishes to confirm that sometimes buying stuff is an absolutely delightful and life-affirming experience!  I’m just offering that doing it consciously might be a way to enjoy our resources in a spirit of gratitude instead of mindlessly consuming as we’ve been taught. Many studies have proven that having a spirit of gratitude is one of the keys to happiness.

In our search for getting in touch with our, and everyone else’s, intrinsic value we can always point back to the little red flag showing us that our over-consumption is often a symptom of deeper existential fears and needs. As you set about organizing your home, sifting through your belongings, making space for creativity and connection, remember who you are: you are potential.  It’s such a huge gift.  What are you going to do with it?